In all the seriousness that real estate can sometimes be, you don’t want to ignore the power of humor in your communication and what it can do for your persuasive power in sales situations and real estate lead generation.

Therefore, in today’s article, I will provide you with 51 funny real estate quotes to boost your conversion.

But I won’t do it just like that without properly putting it into a real estate marketing strategy context.

You will get a proper introduction to how humor can serve you regarding real estate conversions and what you want to remember when using them.

Sounds good? Let’s get going…


How On Earth Can Funny Real Estate Quotes Possibly Boost Your Real Estate Conversions?

When you first think about funny real estate quotes, you may only think about the entertainment value or having something to post on social media.

But there is much more to using humor in the context of (real estate) marketing and lead generation.

Let me show you how humor can help in situations in which you want to be more persuasive and, by being so, be able to convert real estate leads into clients and, hopefully, clients into sales.

So, let’s check what science has to say about that.

As I learned during my research, humor, and persuasion are difficult to study. Nevertheless, 79 studies were synthesized into one (Walter et. al. (2018)) and mentioned in this article

And the findings are that when you include humor, you increase the positive effects on persuasion by 9%, in contrast to not using humor.

This effect was significantly stronger when the humor was aligned with the change of behavior aimed for. Here, the positive effect increased to 17% compared to only 0.1% when jokes were unrelated.

As you may imagine, including humor in health communications had no effect.

I can relate to that. When I was 12 years old, I was in the hospital with one broken leg and ankle after a 26 feet free fall on concrete… without a parachute. I couldn’t develop gallows humor until two weeks after being hospitalized. 

And this study also confirms the positive effects of humor on persuasion. In this case, the effects of two-sided advertising were studied.

By the way, two-sided advertising is when you also mention the negatives of a product. However, you favor the positives since you still want to sell the product. 

Professor Barbara Tannenbaum, a professor at Brown University (Rhode Island), teaches persuasive communication, and she has the following to say about using humor in persuasive communication:

“The audience must be smart enough “to get it,” and their sensibilities and prejudices must be such that the material can find a place to dock. 

Only then will it be funny. The comedian succeeds as a rhetorician when the audience laughs. Their laughter confirms the persuasive intent. Expressive laughter signals agreement.” (source)

As you may already have read a bit between the lines, there is also a risk to using humor in persuasive communication, as you may find yourself when doing real estate marketing or being in a real estate sales situation.

This article has some critical points to consider when you plan to use funny real estate quotes and other types of humor. 

What is funny to me may be upsetting or offensive to you. 

It is also difficult to measure humor. There are authentic laughs that come from the heart, and then there are the polite laughs when you hear a bad joke from someone higher in the pecking order.

And then there is the challenge of making humor consistent with your brand, with humor being subjective at the same time.

Before we get into the various funny real estate quotes, let’s answer this question: what should you keep in mind before you use them in your communication, be it for lead generation or sales situations?


How to Use Funny Real Estate Quotes Without Them Backfiring (Conclusions from the Studies)

From the above, logic dictates that you can and should use humor in real estate marketing or sales situations to benefit from its positive effects on persuasion.

However, this is provided you have good knowledge about your audience.

And to get the best effect on persuasion and thus your real estate conversions, the humor you use in, for example, funny real estate quotes should align with the change of behavior you aim for.

If you can do that, you can increase the positive effect to 17%. 

Now, with the above caveat and strategic tips, let’s get into the different funny real estate quotes you can use in your communication and marketing channels (e.g., on social media.


17 Funny Real Estate Quotes about and from Real Estate Professionals

1) “Please don’t confuse your Zillow search with my real estate license.”

2) “This Halloween you should go as a home buyer… to my office. So I can help you buy a home.”

3) “Benefits of hiring me as your agent: You’ll have me as your agent. I could go on, but I think I made my point.”

4) “There is nothing better than a good friend. Except for a good friend who sends me referrals.”

5) “A good real estate agent is equal parts marketer, negotiator, and magician.”

6) “Let’s throw you a house party. As a real estate agent, I’ll bring the house.”

7) “Sleep is for people without access to the MLS.”

8) “Don’t call me overpaid just because I sold your home fast. That’s exactly what you wanted.”

9) “I got 99 problems, but closing real estate ain’t one.”

10) “You can’t buy happiness… But you can buy real estate, and that’s kind of the same thing.”

11) “If you don’t like where you are, move, you are not a tree.”

12) “Guess what? I’ve been in your home when you weren’t home. And yours. And yours. No, I’m not a burglar. I’m a Realtor!” – Phil Dunphy

13) “You know what? You can insult a lot of things about me. My hair, my voice, my balance support exercises. But don’t insult my selling. That crosses a line. What line? Oh, you don’t see it? That’s because I sold it.” – Phil Dunphy (source)

14) “If you can’t handle me pointing out the homes I’ve sold as we ride around together, we can’t be friends.”

15) “Not everyone is gonna think I’m funny, good-looking, or the best real estate agent around, and that’s okay. They’re wrong, though.”

16) “I need your listing, I already sold all of mine.”

17) “Top 10 things to do when selling your home: Call me, I’ll handle the other 9.” (source)

18) “I love my husband more than selling houses… yes, he bought me this.” (source)


13 Funny Quotes about Real Estate Agent Challenges

1) “I am basically a full-time psychologist who shows houses.” – Dori Warner

2) “Judging by your pins, you’ll need a house with 14 bathrooms, 27 living rooms, and a master closet the size of a small village.” – Someecards

3) “Must be nice being a real estate agent and working anytime you please.” “Yeah, I can work any of the 65 hours per week I want.” (source)

4) “Being a real estate agent is the least stressful career ever.” As stated by Jessica, 29 looking 78.” (source)

5) “If you liked it, then you should’ve put a ring an offer on it.” (source)

6) “Being a real estate agent is easy, it’s like flying like a bird, but you don’t have wings.” (source)

7) “I don’t always tolerate being spoken to like I’m stupid. But when I do, I’m probably talking to my buyer’s dad.” (source)

8) “I always go the extra mile for my clients. But sometimes, it’s because I missed my exit.”

9) “I’d like to think I’ll die a heroic death, but it’s more likely that I’ll trip over a cat I’m not supposed to let out while showing a house to a client.” (source)

10) “Next time somebody complains about Millennials, maybe remind which generation linoleumed over all those beautiful hardwood floors.” (source)

11) “Please note: I’m a self-employed real estate agent. So if you see me talking to myself, please do not disturb, because I’m having a staff meeting.” (source)

12) “When your house is for sale, using a pile of colorful laundry to make a drab room “pop” does not count as “staging.” (source)

13) “Thinking about sending out W-2s to all the buyers who benefitted from my time, knowledge, and expertise the past year, but then bought a house through another agent.” (source) 


7 Funny Real Estate Quotes about Buying and Selling Property 

1) “Buying a house is like getting married; you commit to it for better or for worse, and you better love its quirks and flaws, or you may end up homeless.”

2) “Selling a house is like dating, you have to present it in the best possible light and hope someone falls in love with it.”

3) “The key to successful real estate investing is to buy low and sell high, just like the stock market, but with a lot more paint samples.”

4) “Buying a house is like playing a game of Monopoly, you have to be strategic, make smart investments, and hope you don’t land on Boardwalk with a hotel.”

5) “Selling a house is like a divorce. You have to say goodbye to something you’ve invested a lot of time, money, and emotions in. Except you likely won’t have to pay alimony.”

6) “I thought about buying a castle, but then I realized I don’t have enough cleaning equipment, and of course the proper knightly income.”

7) “Selling a house is like being a magician. You have to make the flaws disappear, make the features stand out, distract the audience, and hope nobody sees the strings holding everything together.”


9 Funny Quotes About Homeownership

1) “I don’t always clean my house, but when I do, it’s right before someone comes over… So almost never.”

 2) “Owning a home is like having a never-ending to-do list trapped in a time loop vortex. Except instead of checking things off, you just add more and more tasks.”

3) “When you own a home it’s a bit like a marriage: a big commitment, you’re in it for the long haul, and sometimes you just want to go to Narnia.”

4) “OMG, I think my house is haunted. Every time I try to do a complete cleaning, all the dust just comes back.”

5) “Owning a home is like a cross-breed of being a detective and a gastroenterologist. You have to figure out which weird noises are normal and which ones mean you need to call a professional.” 

6) “One of these days I asked my house if it was feeling okay, and it said it was just a little house-sick.”

7) “Homeownership is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get, but sure as hell you’re probably going to have to fix it yourself.”

8) “These days I told my house to stop being so hard to please… You know what it did? It just gave me the silent treatment.”

9) “Homeownership is like being a landlord to yourself. Except you’re both the landlord and the tenant, with contract clauses that change every day, and you never want to give yourself your security deposit back.”


5 Funny Quotes About the Real Estate Market

1) “The real estate market is like a game of musical chairs. When the music stops, everyone tries to grab a seat and hope they’re not left standing.”

2) “This sellers market is so hot right now, I saw a listing for a cardboard box under a bridge and it still had a bidding war.”

3) “Real estate is like a rollercoaster. It’s full of ups and downs, and sometimes you end up feeling sick to your stomach.”

4) “Real estate is like a game of Jenga. You never know which piece is going to cause the whole thing to come crashing down.”

5) “The real estate market is like a marathon, except it’s more like a marathon with obstacles, blindfolds, and a prize at the finish line that keeps moving further away.”

6) “My gut is never wrong when it comes to the real estate market. It may hang over my pants a little bit, but it definitely knows things. All the sugar and carbs I consume are for you, my dear clients. I do it for you.” (source)


Final Thoughts

There you have funny real estate quotes about different areas of real estate. Some may sound funny to you, some offensive, some plain old, or not funny. 

That’s what happens with humor, and not-for-nothing comedians test their jokes and punchlines for some time in front of their audiences and weed out the bad jokes. 

It’s a bit like getting a real estate marketing campaign running until it brings in results. In a sense, these comedians do conversion rate optimization; it’s just much harsher getting rejected by a live audience.

Before I digress any further, should you use some of the above funny real estate quotes to boost your persuasive power in your communication a bit, consider what I discussed initially: know your audience and align them with the change of behavior (what you want them to do) you aim for.

For example, I can’t see many funny real estate quotes from and about real estate agents applied to a situation to generate buyer or seller leads.

However, they may work when you want to generate partnerships with other real estate professionals.

This article has been reviewed by our editorial team. It has been approved for publication in accordance with our editorial policy.

Tobias Schnellbacher